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Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

Chris Ruddick, MLB Editor

Rounding Third Logo Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - It was a tough day to be a baseball fan on Tuesday.

Let me start with Mark "I have always wanted to be a New York Yankee" Teixeira, who became the latest high-priced prize unveiled this offseason by the Bronx Bombers.

Just once, I want to hear somebody say, "I have always wanted to be a Kansas City Royal" or "a Milwaukee Brewer".

Anyway, Teixeira waxed poetic about how while growing up in Baltimore, he used to attend Orioles games wearing a Yankee hat. He spoke about how much he idolized Yankee icon Don Mattingly growing up and how his No. 23, the number Teixeira wears in honor of his hero, should stay in Monument Park.

It was all very touching.

The only thing he didn't speak about, though, was the $180 million the Yankees gave him to come to the Bronx. Of course, if you believe the obvious script from which he read, he had his mind made up on becoming a Yankee two weeks before the day the two parties actually agreed to terms on December 23. His decision was so solid that he entertained the Red Sox at his Texas home the weekend before agreeing to terms with the Yankees.

Give me a break. Why do I have a funny feeling that if the Red Sox were willing to spend $10 million more on this phony, that his childhood hero would have been Mike Greenwell?

If he loves Don Mattingly so much, why not sign with the Los Angeles Dodgers, for whom Mattingly is a hitting coach? By the way, Teixeira was about four years old when Mattingly was in his prime. When he really started following baseball, Mattingly was a broken down shell of his former self.

Teixeira is not alone, though. They are all a bunch of phonies. I know this, but for some reason he really struck a nerve with me. Maybe it is the fact that he is represented by Scott Boras.

The book on Teixeira is that he is more A-Rod than A-Rod, meaning that he never has a hair out of place, never slips up in a public setting, always says the right thing, and most importantly values the dollar more than anything else.

At least Manny Ramirez came right out and said that he was going to the highest bidder.

Then we have poor Philadelphia Phillies reliever J.C. Romero, who "unknowingly" took a banned substance resulting in a 50-game ban. Romero bought a supplement, 6-OXO Extreme, from a GNC in New Jersey. Before taking it, though, he consulted both a personal nutritionist and Phillies strength and conditioning coach Dong Lien, who wasn't sure if it was banned and recommended that he get a second opinion.

Romero never got that second opinion. The pitcher, who I am sure has some sort of chemistry degree that I am unaware of, took the supplement, tested positive, and now is crying that he did not know it was banned.

MLB and the Union have an toll-free hotline available so that players can call to have these types of questions answered. There is a DVD presentation in spring training that clearly explains that. Would it have killed him to pick up the phone and find out? It is only his reputation and livelihood on the line.

Just once I want to see a player test positive and apologize. MLB is becoming Shawshank Prison - not a guilty guy in there. How many times are we going to go to the "I didn't know it was banned" well?

Romero knew full well what he was doing, that is why he asked in the first place. He was told to get a second opinion. He didn't, and now he has to pay the consequences.

End of story.

Speaking of ghosts from performance enhancing drugs past, we have Andy Pettitte, who recently turned down the Yankees' $10 million offer. This guy has some nerve. Pettitte, of course, is the same guy who picked up a $16 million option last season right before the Mitchell Report came out. The same report he told the Yankees he was not going to be a part of, when in essence he was basically one of the guys featured on the cover.

The Yankees stood behind him then and probably always will, even though he lied not once but twice with regard to the whole situation. Actually, he was only caught in a lie twice, who knows how many times he really lied?

If I am Brian Cashman, my next offer to him is $5 million. Or better yet, offer him nothing. Instead, make him pay back some of that money he stole from them last year. Maybe they could make him pay for CC Sabathia's meals this season.

By the end of the year he should be even.

Pettitte is a joke. If you don't believe me, just listen to his comments from late in 2008.

"Obviously anyone else would say, 'I'll go wherever I want to,' because people want to try to get the most money," Pettitte told the New York Times late in the season. "But, I mean, I'm not going anywhere, you know what I'm saying? The Yankees know me enough, it's not like I'm going to hold out. I guess if I had spent all my money or whatever, it might be different. But it's not about that, really, anymore."

Pettitte needs to go away. Go home to Texas and stare at the wall with your good buddy Roger Clemens, and the two of you can call Romero and laugh at him for getting caught.

Ugh.

Pitchers and catchers report in just over a month.

Comments? Criticism? Applause? Contact Chris Ruddick at cruddick@sportsnetwork.com.

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