Fantasy
Just not gaga
Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - Jerry Seinfeld has you all beat.

Or at least fake Jerry does.

In nine seasons, Jerry went out with 73 different women.

I'm not sure what's more amazing. The fact that Jerry had time to find 73 different female companions or that his best friend George, a slow-witted bald man by his own admission, had almost as many girlfriends as Jerry (62 during Seinfeld's nine-year run).

But back to Jerry for a second.

Jerry's 52nd girlfriend on the show, Pam, debuted in Season 8. Just like the others, this relationship didn't last long.

The reason for their breakup?

He just wasn't gaga over her.

I know just how you feel, Jerry.

There are dozens of players I could draft for my fantasy team. But I'm just not gaga over all of them. Here are a few examples.

Michael Bourn, OF, Cleveland Indians: Bourn is your prototypical one-trick pony. He steals and doesn't do a whole lot else.

And even that part of his game is beginning to slip. Bourn's steal total in 2012 (42 thefts) was his lowest since 2008 and 19 below what he produced a season earlier.

As a hitter, Bourn is insanely overrated. His .272 lifetime average might be acceptable if Bourn actually had some power, but he has none to speak of (22 HR in 871 career games). He tortured fantasy owners after the All-Star break last season (.225) and his strikeout rate is beginning to reach disturbing levels of ineptitude (295 whiffs over the last two seasons).

The going rate for Bourn in auction drafts this spring? If you ask The Sporting News, it's $25. That's about 15 bucks more than I'd pay for him.

Billy Butler, DH, Kansas City Royals: Butler is a lifetime .300 hitter and he's never hit worse than .275 for a single season. These are both good qualities.

But remember, there was a reason Robinson Cano didn't pick Butler for the Home Run Derby last summer. He just doesn't have that much power.

Before 2012, Butler's career-high in home runs was just 21 and for his career, only 33.9 percent of his hits have gone for extra bases. Compare that to Miami's Giancarlo Stanton, who has gone for extra bases on 50.6 percent of his hits since entering the league in 2010.

What makes it even worse is that Butler doesn't play the field enough to be eligible at first base.

Want to pay $30 for a glorified singles hitter? Knock yourself out.

Adrian Gonzalez, 1B, Los Angeles Dodgers: Unlike Butler, Gonzalez actually had power. We just have no idea where it went.

Playing in San Diego from 2007 to 2010, Gonzo averaged 34.3 home runs per season. Over his last two seasons, he's averaged just 22.5.

Power wasn't the only thing that eluded Gonzalez in 2012. His batting average fell from .338 to .299 while his OPS plummeted to .807 (.958 OPS in 2011).

The good news is that Gonzalez will be playing half of his games at Dodger Stadium this season, the same place where he hit one homer in 77 at bats last season.

Wait, that's not good news? Well, I guess there is no good news then.

Jason Kipnis, 2B, Cleveland Indians: Seriously, what's so exciting about a guy who hit .257 last season with only 14 HR?

Everyone says Kipnis has the talent to be an All-Star, but I just don't see it.

The 31 stolen bases he produced last season would qualify as a positive. As would his .303 batting average with runners in scoring position.

But that's about it. Kipnis was atrocious against lefties in 2012 (.215 in 209 at bats) and he was useless after the All-Star break (.233, 3 HR, .650 OPS).

Unless you're really desperate for a second baseman, don't waste your money on Kipnis.

Hunter Pence, OF, San Francisco Giants: Pence finally won a World Series in 2012.

That's nice, but it doesn't mask the fact that he batted just .219 over the final 59 games of the regular season with 60 strikeouts in 219 at bats (one K every 3.65 at bats).

Let's face it, Pence was a disaster last season. His slugging percentage fell from .560 to a career-worst .425 while trimming his wins above replacement from 5.4 to 0.7.

Once a legitimate 20/20 threat, Pence generated just five stolen bases in 2012.

Plus, he'll turn 30 on my birthday, April 13, which means that his best years are probably behind him. Let Pence be somebody else's problem this season.

Hanley Ramirez, SS, Los Angeles Dodgers: Year after year, Ramirez carries a high price tag at auction drafts and year after year, he fails to deliver.

Since winning the batting crown with a .342 average in 2009, Ramirez has hit just .269 in 1,485 at bats.

Not only has Ramirez been inconsistent at the dish, but his impact on the base paths isn't what it once was. Over his last four seasons, Ramirez has amassed 100 steals, an average of 25 a year. Prior to that, he had been averaging nearly 46 thefts per season.

Oh, and if you haven't heard, he's out until June after suffering a thumb injury at the World Baseball Classic.

Sorry, Hanley. It's not you, it's me.

Chase Utley, 2B, Philadelphia Phillies: Another hero from the days of yesteryear, Utley is still getting way too much credit for things he accomplished five years ago.

I'll admit, Utley used to be a staple of my fantasy squads. And why not? He averaged 29.2 HR, 101.4 RBI and a .301 batting average from 2005-09.

Injuries have limited Utley to 301 games since 2010, but even when he has been active, he just hasn't looked like himself. Utley's averages from the last three seasons compute to .264, 20.5 HR, and 82.9 RBI over a full 162-game slate.

At age 34, the chances of Utley rediscovering the fountain of youth are pretty slim.

Skip him on draft day if you can help it.

Shane Victorino, OF, Boston Red Sox: Victorino has one thing going for him. He's still wicked fast (career-high 39 steals last season). Unfortunately, that won't mean much if Victorino can't raise his batting average to something more respectable than the .264 clip he's been hitting at the past three seasons.

Maybe 2005-2009 Victorino (.289 average during that span) will resurface in Boston. But I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you have your doubts about a player, it probably wasn't meant to be.




Comments? Criticism? Applause? Contact Jesse Pantuosco at jpantuosco@sportsnetwork.com.