Personal Fool: Dallas Cowboy cure - cream puffs

By Bam Ransom, Contributing Writer

Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - The Dallas Cowboys might have ALMOST found the final pieces of the puzzle necessary for the Super Bowl. They're this close.

Those pieces of the puzzle are cream puffs.

And I'm not talking about the 'Boys last two opponents, Seattle and San Francisco. Or even Tony Romo and Terrell Owens.

I'm talking about pastry, filled with cream.

Flaky pastry.

Mmm.

A Bam Fan last week sent me the following true help-wanted item off the Weird World Web:

"Pastry Chef - Dallas Cowboys Football Club (Irving, TX) Responsible for creating all breads, sweets, desserts and other pastry items for high volume facility. Reports directly to Executive Chef."

The ad includes the expectation that a taste-testing will be performed. I think they meant to say "tryout" or "workout."

I didn't even know the Cowboys had fired their OLD Pastry Chef, mid-season. Where was Jay Glazer or profootballtalk.com on this story? They're obviously not taking their diet seriously enough.

Or the odds.

A change at Pastry Chef is the kind of information that can change odds in Vegas.

Like you, I've often enjoyed the age old-debate that feeds (ha ha ha...feeds) daily sports-talk radio stations about whether a Sous Chef or a Pastry Chef is most fundamental to the success of a championship sports franchise. But that debate sometimes obscures the larger importance of a Garde Manger in a championship run.

And yes, you may cut and paste NOW to look THAT up.

While the Cowboys' three-game winning streak certainly provides some validation that their previous troubles may have resided in over-done "breads, sweets, desserts and other pastry items," there is talk in league circles that Dallas head coach Wade Phillips got in way over his head when he chose to handle all the baking duties himself in the interim.

Certainly Phillips looks like an expert when it comes to sweets and desserts. Most head coaches do. But the last several games have revealed to even the most casual football fan that Phillips can't handle the bread duties during the all important stretch-run (ha ha ha...bread, dough, stretch, ha).

Not for your Dallas Cowboys, anyway.

And with road games in the cold weather cities looming in Pittsburgh (at Steelers) and in Philadelphia (at Eagles), everyone knows you have to have a Pastry Chef with playoff experience in December and January. Especially for a team like the Cowboys that relies on a lot of exotic flatbreads, a hybrid bread pudding and a baklava featured in the pre-season edition of Bon Appetit for success late in games.

Would the NFL playoffs, the most sacred and manly tradition in the American sports experience, even BE the NFL playoffs without properly cooked and presented, all-wholesome baked goods?

Who doesn't think of Broadway Joe Namath and think of muffins? Or Dan Marino and think of Panini? Or Bradshaw and think of...well... if you said "buns" to yourself like my wife just did, I just feel sorry for you.

Let's just hope that Jerry Jones thinks like we do. Let's hope he picks out the finest, freshest, free agent Pastry Chef he can find on the street.

And soon, before Wade Phillips burns Cowboy fans again.

After all, Jones has the dough.

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Bam Ransom's "Personal Fool" appears at sportsnetwork.com on alternating Fridays.

Comments? Criticism? Applause? Contact Bam Ransom at jransom@ransomcreative.com.
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