Personal Fool: Bam's Mailbag - MVP, billionaires and T.O.

By Bam Ransom, Contributing Writer

Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - "So now that we are almost through baseball's spring training, which team do you think has taken best advantage of developments in steroid production this offseason?" Mike C. Allentown, PA

Mike-

In my opinion, the New York Yankees are the team to beat when it comes to doping and dopes. While other teams TALK about steroid use, the Yankees produce championships through the creative use of chemicals. Well certainly not recently, but no one said "chemically induced" better than Billy Martin, who was half alcohol and half testosterone at least half the time.

"Is it true that the new NFL Players Association president DeMaurice Smith is preparing for 'war' against the 32 team owners he calls billionaires?" Petey B. Orlando, FL

Petey-

Yes.

The 2000 millionaire players of the NFL unanimously voted to elect DC lawyer DeMaurice Smith the new president of the NFLPA. Smith has said he's hoping for labor peace but is preparing for labor war against the billionaire owners.

This is important, because no group of employees in this country deserve a bigger share of the American apple pie than the 2000 underpaid players of the NFL, except perhaps the ill-used executive employees of AIG and members of Congress.

Think of the happiness it'll bring the average fan knowing that their favorite 3rd string halfback on the Tennessee Titans is finally making more money in a year than it's possible for most fans to make in their entire lifetime.

"Obama's picked Louisville, North Carolina, Memphis and Pittsburgh for the NCAA Final Four. What's up with that?" Bill R. Chicago, IL

It's well-known that Obama's a big college hoops fan.

What's not as well-known is that ESPN's NFL Draft Guru Mel Kiper is a big fan of the G20 and monetary policy. He recently announced via Foreign Policy Magazine, that he's picking Argentina, Australia, Russia and the US to make it the Final Four at the G20 Summit in London in 2009.

"How come you never write about NASCAR?" Danirose R. Denver, CO

Danirose-

Watching cars go around an oval track is like watching horses go around an oval track, but at least the horses have on-site betting. Oh, plus I have a full set of teeth and documentation to prove that no one in my family ever married a cousin, consequently NASCAR doesn't interest me.

"We got T.O.!" James P. Buffalo, NY

Yes you do. And while technically there is no cure for T.O., cases usually last only a year or two. As unpleasant as the T.O. symptoms are, just remember he can't kill you; he can only kill your team. However, contact a doctor if your dejection lasts more than four hours after T.O. gets cut.

"Why is fighting necessary in hockey?" Lind G. Reston, VA

Linda-

Only someone who isn't a hockey fan would ask that question. You might as well ask a hockey fan if they like beer, pretzels and cold weather (they do, by the way).



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Bam Ransom's "Personal Fool" appears at sportsnetwork.com on alternating Fridays.

Comments? Criticism? Applause? Contact Bam Ransom at jransom@ransomcreative.com.
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