The real fantasy draft
By Jesse Pantuosco, Fantasy Sports Writer
Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - Fantasy baseball isn't just for average joes like you and me.
The real players do it too.
I didn't know this until recently, but apparently the best players in baseball come together every year and have a big fantasy draft.
Last year the draft was held at Prince Fielder's house, but because of scheduling conflicts, this year they're doing it online.
The draft is just a few minutes away and most of the players have already joined the league chat room. Let's listen in.
ANDREW MCCUTCHEN: What's up guys?
MATT KEMP: Yo.
BUSTER POSEY: What's goin' on Drew?
MCCUTCHEN: Just pumped for this draft. Congrats on that new contract, man.
POSEY: Thanks, bro. We killed it in those PlayStation commercials.
KEMP: Yeah man, I saw you got the cover.
MCCUTCHEN: Didn't you get the cover last year, Matt?
KEMP: Yes sir.
POSEY: So where's everybody else?
MIGUEL CABRERA: Yo, I'm here.
MCCUTCHEN: Triple Crown is in the house!
CABRERA: Don't forget, I won the MVP too.
JUSTIN VERLANDER: Aww, I remember my first MVP.
CABRERA: Come on, bro.
VERLANDER: I'm just playing with you man. Don't you remember the "Miggy for MVP" shirt I made last year?
POSEY: Eh, I would have voted for Trout.
CABRERA: Seriously? The Triple Crown wasn't enough for you?
MCCUTCHEN: The guy's got a point, Posey. Trout's team didn't even make the playoffs.
POSEY: Trout stole almost 50 bases. What's the most you've ever stolen, Miggy? Like one?
CABRERA: Hey, I had four steals last season. You're no speed demon yourself, big guy.
POSEY: I'm 2-0 in the World Series, though.
KEMP: Here we go again.
VERLANDER: Sandoval had ONE good game. If there had been a Game 5 and I pitched, you guys would have been toast.
POSEY: Could've, would've, should've.
VERLANDER: Whatever, dude. My contract's bigger than yours and my girlfriend was on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Not gonna get into a big thing over who won what.
KEMP: How's Kate doing, by the way?
VERLANDER: Pretty good, man. What's up with you and Rihanna?
KEMP: I don't know, man. We still talk, but I think she's pretty much with Chris Brown now.
MCCUTCHEN: Bummer, dude.
POSEY: Who needs her? You played better without her.
KEMP: Yeah man, if it hadn't been for that hamstring injury, I could have gone 40/40 last year.
RYAN BRAUN: I'm not so sure about that.
CABRERA: Well, look who decided to show up?
VERLANDER: Yeah, where have you been, Braun? Buying deer antler spray from Ray Lewis?
BRAUN: Dude, I'm clean and you know it.
VERLANDER: Yeah, clean as a whistle. Have fun sitting out 50 games when you and A-Rod get busted.
BRAUN: Didn't you draft me last year, Verlander?
POSEY: And what place did he finish?
VERLANDER: Hey, I told you I barely had time to check it last year.
MCCUTCHEN: Wait, who did win last year?
KEMP: I think it was Fielder.
BRAUN: Yeah, it was. He picked Trout up off waivers.
MCCUTCHEN: That's right. Didn't he have Dickey too?
R.A. DICKEY: Speaking of Dickey ...
VERLANDER: Ughh, you again?
DICKEY: What have you done, Verlander? I'm a Cy Young winner and a best-selling author.
VERLANDER: You don't even throw real pitches.
BRAUN: Yeah, and you totally blew the WBC for us.
KEMP: I think that Adrian Gonzalez homer is still going.
DICKEY: What'd you do at the World Baseball Classic, Braun?
BRAUN: I did better than you. I think I hit like .280 or something.
VERLANDER: Must have been off the juice, huh?
PRINCE FIELDER: Yo, what's up guys?
CABRERA: Prince, I told you we were starting at seven.
PRINCE: I had to eat first.
POSEY: What'd you eat? Like twenty Big Macs?
KEMP: I was thinking crunchwrap supremes.
VERLANDER: Oooh, I do love me some Taco Bell.
FIELDER: Yeah, right. You guys know I'm a vegan.
BRAUN: Sure, and McCutchen can hit the curve ball.
MCCUTCHEN: What? I can hit the curve ball.
CABRERA: Maybe on PlayStation.
ROBINSON CANO: Sorry, I'm late guys. I've been helping Cashman work the phones. We're trying to get another third baseman.
POSEY: No luck with Chipper?
CANO: No, I think he's going to stay retired.
DICKEY: You guys even have enough for a team this year?
VERLANDER: Seriously. You guys signed Vernon Wells? What decade is it?
KEMP: Chipper would be the youngest guy on your team.
CANO: Hey, we still got Youkilis.
BRAUN: HAHAHA. Aww man. I just spit out my water. That's hilarious.
VERLANDER: I didn't know they made "water" at the Biogenesis clinic.
CABRERA: It's probably BALCO-flavored.
MCCUTCHEN: Robbie, what time did you tell Trout the draft was?
POSEY: You were supposed to tell Harper, too.
CANO: Oh no. I must have forgot.
VERLANDER: Geez, get it together man.
MCCUTCHEN: Does anybody have Harper's cell number?
KEMP: Ugggh, I do. The kid won't stop texting me.
BRAUN: Me neither!
STEPHEN STRASBURG: Come on, he's not that bad.
VERLANDER: Hey, Strassy decided to show up!
POSEY: Is Rizzo actually going to let you pitch this year?
STRASBURG: Yup, no innings limit.
KEMP: I'll believe it when I see it.
MIKE TROUT: I'm here, guys!
FIELDER: About time, Trout.
TROUT: I just got off the phone with Harper. He got home like a minute ago.
DICKEY: He probably had to cover himself in face paint first.
BRAUN: I know, right? What's with that?
KEMP: He's so weird.
BRYCE HARPER: Bryce is here.
CABRERA: Aren't you a little young to be referring to yourself in the third person?
KEMP: Yeah, who do you think you are, Rickey Henderson?
HARPER: Bryce is ready to draft. Let's go ... I gotta lift after this.
VERLANDER: So Harper, are you guys gonna win the NL this year?
HARPER: I'm not answering that question.
POSEY: Why not?
HARPER: That's a clown question, bro.
Happy Easter/Opening Day everybody. And a special shout out to my Syracuse Orange for making it to the Final Four. Go Orange!
03/31 14:09:48 ET