The real fantasy draft
Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - Fantasy baseball isn't just for average joes like you and me.

The real players do it too.

I didn't know this until recently, but apparently the best players in baseball come together every year and have a big fantasy draft.

Last year the draft was held at Prince Fielder's house, but because of scheduling conflicts, this year they're doing it online.

The draft is just a few minutes away and most of the players have already joined the league chat room. Let's listen in.

ANDREW MCCUTCHEN: What's up guys?

MATT KEMP: Yo.

BUSTER POSEY: What's goin' on Drew?

MCCUTCHEN: Just pumped for this draft. Congrats on that new contract, man.

POSEY: Thanks, bro. We killed it in those PlayStation commercials.

KEMP: Yeah man, I saw you got the cover.

MCCUTCHEN: Didn't you get the cover last year, Matt?

KEMP: Yes sir.

POSEY: So where's everybody else?

MIGUEL CABRERA: Yo, I'm here.

MCCUTCHEN: Triple Crown is in the house!

CABRERA: Don't forget, I won the MVP too.

JUSTIN VERLANDER: Aww, I remember my first MVP.

CABRERA: Come on, bro.

VERLANDER: I'm just playing with you man. Don't you remember the "Miggy for MVP" shirt I made last year?

POSEY: Eh, I would have voted for Trout.

CABRERA: Seriously? The Triple Crown wasn't enough for you?

MCCUTCHEN: The guy's got a point, Posey. Trout's team didn't even make the playoffs.

POSEY: Trout stole almost 50 bases. What's the most you've ever stolen, Miggy? Like one?

CABRERA: Hey, I had four steals last season. You're no speed demon yourself, big guy.

POSEY: I'm 2-0 in the World Series, though.

KEMP: Here we go again.

VERLANDER: Sandoval had ONE good game. If there had been a Game 5 and I pitched, you guys would have been toast.

POSEY: Could've, would've, should've.

VERLANDER: Whatever, dude. My contract's bigger than yours and my girlfriend was on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Not gonna get into a big thing over who won what.

KEMP: How's Kate doing, by the way?

VERLANDER: Pretty good, man. What's up with you and Rihanna?

KEMP: I don't know, man. We still talk, but I think she's pretty much with Chris Brown now.

MCCUTCHEN: Bummer, dude.

POSEY: Who needs her? You played better without her.

KEMP: Yeah man, if it hadn't been for that hamstring injury, I could have gone 40/40 last year.

RYAN BRAUN: I'm not so sure about that.

CABRERA: Well, look who decided to show up?

VERLANDER: Yeah, where have you been, Braun? Buying deer antler spray from Ray Lewis?

BRAUN: Dude, I'm clean and you know it.

VERLANDER: Yeah, clean as a whistle. Have fun sitting out 50 games when you and A-Rod get busted.

BRAUN: Didn't you draft me last year, Verlander?

POSEY: And what place did he finish?

VERLANDER: Hey, I told you I barely had time to check it last year.

MCCUTCHEN: Wait, who did win last year?

KEMP: I think it was Fielder.

BRAUN: Yeah, it was. He picked Trout up off waivers.

MCCUTCHEN: That's right. Didn't he have Dickey too?

R.A. DICKEY: Speaking of Dickey ...

VERLANDER: Ughh, you again?

DICKEY: What have you done Verlander? I'm a Cy Young winner and a best-selling author.

VERLANDER: You don't even throw real pitches.

BRAUN: Yeah, and you totally blew the WBC for us.

KEMP: I think that Adrian Gonzalez homer is still going.

DICKEY: What'd you do at the World Baseball Classic, Braun?

BRAUN: I did better than you. I think I hit like .280 or something.

VERLANDER: Must have been off the juice, huh?

PRINCE FIELDER: Yo, what's up guys?

CABRERA: Prince, I told you we were starting at seven.

PRINCE: I had to eat first.

POSEY: What'd you eat? Like twenty Big Macs?

KEMP: I was thinking crunchwrap supremes.

VERLANDER: Oooh, I do love me some Taco Bell.

FIELDER: Yeah, right. You guys know I'm a vegan.

BRAUN: Sure, and McCutchen can hit the curve ball.

MCCUTCHEN: What? I can hit the curve ball.

CABRERA: Maybe on PlayStation.

ROBINSON CANO: Sorry, I'm late guys. I've been helping Cashman work the phones. We're trying to get another third baseman.

POSEY: No luck with Chipper?

CANO: No, I think he's going to stay retired.

DICKEY: You guys even have enough for a team this year?

VERLANDER: Seriously. You guys signed Vernon Wells? What decade is it?

KEMP: Chipper would be the youngest guy on your team.

CANO: Hey, we still got Youkilis.

BRAUN: HAHAHA. Aww man. I just spit out my water. That's hilarious.

VERLANDER: I didn't know they made "water" at the Biogenesis clinic.

CABRERA: It's probably BALCO-flavored.

MCCUTCHEN: Robbie, what time did you tell Trout the draft was?

POSEY: You were supposed to tell Harper, too.

CANO: Oh no. I must have forgot.

VERLANDER: Geez, get it together man.

MCCUTCHEN: Does anybody have Harper's cell number?

KEMP: Ugggh, I do. The kid won't stop texting me.

BRAUN: Me neither!

STEPHEN STRASBURG: Come on, he's not that bad.

VERLANDER: Hey, Strassy decided to show up!

POSEY: Is Rizzo actually going to let you pitch this year?

STRASBURG: Yup, no innings limit.

KEMP: I'll believe it when I see it.

MIKE TROUT: I'm here, guys!

FIELDER: About time, Trout.

TROUT: I just got off the phone with Harper. He got home like a minute ago.

DICKEY: He probably had to cover himself in face paint first.

BRAUN: I know, right? What's with that?

KEMP: He's so weird.

BRYCE HARPER: Bryce is here.

CABRERA: Aren't you a little young to be referring to yourself in the third person?

KEMP: Yeah, who do you think you are, Rickey Henderson?

HARPER: Bryce is ready to draft. Let's go ... I gotta lift after this.

VERLANDER: So Harper, are you guys gonna win the NL this year?

HARPER: Really?

VERLANDER: What?

HARPER: I'm not answering that question.

POSEY: Why not?

HARPER: That's a clown question, bro.

Happy Easter/Opening Day everybody. And a special shout out to my Syracuse Orange for making it to the Final Four. Go Orange!




Comments? Criticism? Applause? Contact Jesse Pantuosco at jpantuosco@sportsnetwork.com.

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