Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) -
Who else has seen Robert Griffin III's new Adidas commercial?
In 30 seconds, I think I saw enough explosions to rival a Michael Bay movie.
It may not seem like it but in between all the special effects, there's a message. RG3 is telling us to "blow it all up." Every win, every loss from last season. Burn it to the ground and start over.
That's exactly what I aim to do with my fantasy baseball team.
The keeper league deadline is fast approaching and I say it's high time to trim the fat off this sorry fantasy roster.
Anybody want to watch me be Donald Trump for a day (or Mark Cuban if you prefer "Shark Tank" to "The Apprentice")? Be my guest. Let's hand out some pink slips.
Shin-Soo Choo, OF, Cincinnati Reds: I want to get excited about Choo but I just can't. He's batting a barely tolerable .274 over the last two seasons and his high-water mark in homers is only 22. He's pitiful against lefties (.199 last season) and at age 30 (he turns 31 in July), this is about as good as he's ever going to be. I'm not impressed. Take a hike, Choo.
Jacoby Ellsbury, OF, Boston Red Sox: I know I promised to fire a whole bunch of people (and trust me, I will in a minute) but I have a weird feeling about Ellsbury. He's following the Prince Fielder pattern of being good every other season, which means he's due to break out again in 2013. It's also a contract year for Ellsbury so you know he'll be giving it his all. I'll let him stick around.
Todd Frazier, 3B, Cincinnati Reds: Call me crazy but I think Frazier's power is for real. His .498 slugging percentage as a rookie last season was good for 17th in the National League. He won't be in a platoon with Scott Rolen anymore so he should see plenty of at bats. Welcome aboard, Todd.
Craig Kimbrel, RP, Atlanta Braves: As Dave Chappelle would say, Kimbrel "spits hot fire." The Braves righty (NL leader in saves and ERA last season) is the best reliever in baseball. Enough said.
Kyle Lohse, SP, Free agent: It's pretty tough to justify having a guy on your fantasy team who doesn't even have a team in real life. Either nobody wants Lohse (16-3, 2.86 ERA in 2012) or he's the Daniel Day-Lewis of baseball. Just pick a team, dude. Or not. I've already lost interest.
Brian McCann, C, Atlanta Braves: The wheels totally fell off for McCann in 2012 (.230, career-low .699 OPS). It was the fantasy equivalent of the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline marriage. I don't want to be around when McCann shaves his head and starts beating up the paparazzi with an umbrella.
David Ortiz, DH, Boston Red Sox: Tommy John surgery is one thing. But tripping over second base - on a home run trot no less? How long could it possibly take to recover from that? Well let's see, the injury happened in July and Ortiz is still hurt (further evidence that the Red Sox have the worst medical staff in MLB). You'll be lucky to get 100 games out of Papi in 2013. His lack of positional eligibility doesn't help either. Pass ...
Jose Reyes, SS, Toronto Blue Jays: On paper, Reyes' stat line looks pretty good (.287, 11 HR, 57 RBI, 40 SB). As far as shortstops go, you're not going to do much better than that. But in keeper leagues, you're talking about getting bang for your buck. And that doesn't exist with Reyes. Why would I fork over $25 for Reyes when I can get Asdrubal Cabrera (.270, 16 HR, 68 RBI) for $10? In a perfect world, I'd keep Reyes. But in this world, I'm saying sayonara.
Johan Santana, SP, New York Mets: Don't be fooled by that no-hitter he threw in June (which, after seeing the replay, was really a one-hitter). Santana hasn't thrown 200 innings in a season since 2008 and rumor has it he's giving management the silent treatment (apparently they weren't thrilled about the unplanned bullpen session Santana threw over the weekend). Let me point you to the unemployment line, Johan.
Alfonso Soriano, OF, Chicago Cubs: Out of nowhere, Soriano actually had a pretty spectacular season last year (32 HR, career-high 108 RBI). But I'm not that naive. I know a fluke when I see one. Soriano's horrific contact rate (153 whiffs last season) will doom him again in 2013. And when it does, I'll be right there, waiting with a warm glass of "I told you so."
Dan Uggla, 2B, Atlanta Braves: Is there anybody more frustrating to own than Uggla? His .227 batting average and 324 strikeouts over the last two seasons are all you need to know about him.
Michael Young, 3B, Philadelphia Phillies: Apparently my goal at last year's draft was to create the oldest fantasy team ever assembled. Mission accomplished, I guess. For me, age isn't really the issue with Young. He could get 100 RBI in his sleep playing for Texas. Now he finds himself in the middle of a Phillies lineup that finished 19th in the league in scoring last season. The position flexibility is nice (in ESPN leagues Young is eligible at first and third) but not enough to warrant his $15 price tag. Nice knowing you, Mike.
Don't be afraid to push the self-destruct button on your fantasy team. As RG3 would put it, "all that matters is what you do next."