Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) -
I hope you brought your appetite.
For the next two months, hoops fans will be treated to a feast of epic proportions.
The NBA playoffs will be a buffet of awesome. Imagine waiters handing out plates of bacon-wrapped buzzer beaters and chocolate-covered alley-oops. Envision a helping of sauteed Steph Curry with a side of the Big Fundamental. Maybe we'll even sprinkle on some three-point sauce and a few strawberry pick and rolls for some extra flavor.
It's going to be delicious. And guess what? Our chefs have prepared enough for everyone.
What are you all waiting for? Grab a plate and dig in.
BAKED SANDERS: A feisty mix of defense and shot blocking, this rebounding guru is sure to tingle your taste buds. Larry's no deer in the headlights. Available for a limited time only (his team is playing the Heat in the first round).
BOILED LIN: A tasty combination of speed and skill with a knack for hitting the big shot. Always a game changer, this Rocket goes best with our famous Harden pork chops. Served with Delfino sauce and a hint of Chandler Parsons.
BREADED BRADLEY: This Boston guard is quite a handful. He's a spicy defender with a lot of intensity. Always a healthy choice, Bradley has zero calories, just like his number.
ANDRE SOUP: Made with the finest rocky mountain ingredients, this dish can do it all. Passing, scoring, rebounding, defense, it's all part of the Iguodala package. This starter is sure to warm you right up.
BLAKE BITES: A Lob City favorite, this dynamo of an appetizer can really fill you up. Always a great plate to share with your buddies. Our Blake Bites taste so good, you're going to want to jump over a Kia after you eat them.
PACER PLATTER: It used to come with Granger, but we took that off the menu. This diverse offering is a Hoosier state classic. It tastes even better if you mix in a little Hibbert on top. This dish serves one, but if you really want to be a team player you can upgrade the portion to family size.
SMITH SALAD: Our signature New York salad, it's tattooed with bits of real Parmesan and a house dressing. This long range threat will have you licking your lips. It's the perfect sixth man for any entree.
BOSH AND CHIPS: A tall order, this dazzling entree is a perfect blend of size and mobility. It's a little soft in the low post, but we put so much LeBron and Wade on it, you'll barely notice. We call this "the meal of champions."
FRIED FARIED: Another Denver delicacy, this generous portion was made for a real "Manimal." Dread-locked with a delightful mixture of energy and strength, the George Karl sauce gives this tasty nugget a real kick.
HARDEN CHOPS: A relentless scorer, this lefthander will penetrate your taste buds at will. This fiery platter is way too good to be an eight seed. Trust us, you'll be calling "And one!" after your very first bite.
JOSH SANDWICH: This is one of the most versatile dishes on our menu. The "Joshwich" is a hybrid forward with phenomenal upside. Glazed with a tangy free agent dressing, this Atlanta Hawk of a sandwich really hits the spot.
PAU BURGER: The burger that all other burgers bow down to. This crowd pleaser is much more than a patty in between two buns. The Pau Burger knows what it's doing and it has the championship rings to prove it. It even has an element of Spanish flair and hey, how many burgers can say that?
ROASTED RANDOLPH: Another powerful offering, this superstar in the making always comes up big when the game is on the line. Ask for it with a splash of Memphis barbecue sauce and you'll be in Heaven. It's the ultimate guilty pleasure.
TOASTED TONY: The Toasted Tony is one of our best dishes. Heck, it might be the MVP of our menu. Steamed to perfection, this savvy point guard always plays the game the right way. If you want to dunk it in our famous Gregg Popovich aioli, that's fine by us.
Let the feast begin. And remember to save a little room for dessert.